Friends

I lament the loss of my friends from Highschool. I left them behind and a part of me is trapped back there in time. I cant imagine any of them now with families, careers, new homes with sprinkler systems. I'm stuck there and I cant get out of the mud. I basse how I feel about myself on what I lost, whats back there and it haunts me. I close off new friendships or dont even try. I harbor anger towards the friends who have moved on from me. How can you not care about my life now? How can you not call me back, or email, or write, or visit? We said we'd be friends forever. We said we'd be at eachothers weddings. I thought our children would grow up together and you would be there for me still. I guess I was wrong and now I need to move on. Why do I efen bother to care? Why does it hurt still after so many years?